Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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