his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize