Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I checked into jail on foursquare
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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