In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
