New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
