god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
