and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
