I just saw a hot homeless man
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
