You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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