It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
