So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
