dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
