Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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