i jhust puked up my retainher.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
