i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
my nose is crying tears of wow.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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