Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
