I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
