I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
