You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
