I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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