Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
