I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
