Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
