im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His nipple licking is glorious
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