How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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