i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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