you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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