Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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