I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
