this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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