she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
