i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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