Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
