I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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