she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?