Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.