So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
