I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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