today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
