What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
