So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
