I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
