went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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