so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
