Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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