So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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