i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize