i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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