I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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