WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
