I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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