Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
