Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
They are going to name an STD after you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
