If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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