I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
