its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
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