Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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