I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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