See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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