to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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