I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
