we need to drink 2009 down the drain
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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