I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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