That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i think i have herpe
just one?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
