Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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