hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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