Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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