the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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