I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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