This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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