Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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