I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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